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Today, I was thinking about my personal journey and feelings regarding feminism ever since I peaked.

To be completely honest, I was never comfortable with feminism because I thought that it meant that I had to support prostitution, pornography and hook-up culture. I always knew that they were degrading and harmful for women. Since I couldn't get behind them on these issues, I never saw myself as a feminist.

Ever since I have peaked and discovered radical feminism, I feel like I have found a community of women that I can actually agree with. I think my negative feelings in regards to feminism in general was born out of my disgust in how the liberal feminists were selling out fellow women and convincing us that being reduced to sex objects is empowering.

I also feel like I took for granted the privileges we have. I am now thankful for the feminists in the past who fought for single sex spaces and equal rights. I know it's dumb of me, but I had never thought about how valuable our bathrooms are, how much impact single sex spaces have in women's safety, why we need women in positions of power and how deeply our biological sex affects our daily lives.

I feel sad that our voices are being silenced and that little by little they are taking our rights away, but I have hope that eventually the gender bubble will burst. I believe that people will see through the farce and will be horrified that we let things get so far. The medical institutions, the corporations, the government and the media will have to answer for their crimes against children, women and detransitioners.

But until that day arrives, I was wondering what can we learn from this situation? How can we stop something similar from happening again?

Personally, I have learned that:

  • Feminism is not a dirty word, it has just been bastardized.
  • Women need their single sex spaces. It's imperative to be overprotective of them.
  • Laws and rules made to keep women safe should not be abolished to protect men's feelings.
  • Kink-shaming can be useful and actually good.
  • Things can get out of control very quickly when no one puts a boundary.
  • We should not enable mental illness and delusions.
  • We should not censor someone just for having a "wrong" opinion. As long as they are able to discuss it respectfully, we should let them participate. If someone is censoring people who disagree with them, it means that the opposition may have good arguments that they don't want you to hear.

How about you?

P.S. English is my not my first language, I am sorry if I made some mistakes in my post.

Today, I was thinking about my personal journey and feelings regarding feminism ever since I peaked. To be completely honest, I was never comfortable with feminism because I thought that it meant that I had to support prostitution, pornography and hook-up culture. I always knew that they were degrading and harmful for women. Since I couldn't get behind them on these issues, I never saw myself as a feminist. Ever since I have peaked and discovered radical feminism, I feel like I have found a community of women that I can actually agree with. I think my negative feelings in regards to feminism in general was born out of my disgust in how the liberal feminists were selling out fellow women and convincing us that being reduced to sex objects is empowering. I also feel like I took for granted the privileges we have. I am now thankful for the feminists in the past who fought for single sex spaces and equal rights. I know it's dumb of me, but I had never thought about how valuable our bathrooms are, how much impact single sex spaces have in women's safety, why we need women in positions of power and how deeply our biological sex affects our daily lives. I feel sad that our voices are being silenced and that little by little they are taking our rights away, but I have hope that eventually the gender bubble will burst. I believe that people will see through the farce and will be horrified that we let things get so far. The medical institutions, the corporations, the government and the media will have to answer for their crimes against children, women and detransitioners. But until that day arrives, I was wondering what can we learn from this situation? How can we stop something similar from happening again? Personally, I have learned that: - Feminism is not a dirty word, it has just been bastardized. - Women need their single sex spaces. It's imperative to be overprotective of them. - Laws and rules made to keep women safe should not be abolished to protect men's feelings. - Kink-shaming can be useful and actually good. - Things can get out of control very quickly when no one puts a boundary. - We should not enable mental illness and delusions. - We should not censor someone just for having a "wrong" opinion. As long as they are able to discuss it respectfully, we should let them participate. If someone is censoring people who disagree with them, it means that the opposition may have good arguments that they don't want you to hear. How about you? P.S. English is my not my first language, I am sorry if I made some mistakes in my post.

133 comments

[–] VirginiaWolfberry 101 points (+107|-6)

I’ve realised how the Cultural Revolution and the European Dark Ages and inquisitions and witch-hunting can play out any time, anywhere, any political leaning. It’s been happening due to groupthink enabled by online addiction to social media. And I saw it in the misogyny of GamerGate and pillorying of Hillary Clinton by BernieBros first, but it has become even more toxic since. Full on, emperor’s no clothes misogyny.

[–] GynyHappyPeople 85 points (+85|-0)

We’re experiencing a cultural dark age that self-identifies as enlightenment.

[–] Riothamus scrote 66 points (+66|-0) Edited

This self-indentification shit is textbook pre-Enlightenment thinking.

Instead of using experimentation and evidence to arrive at a falsifiable conclusion they declare an unchallengeable conclusion, cherrypick supporting evidence, and silence all dissent. These genderspecials have turned their backs on the Scientific Method in favor of the authoritarian Revealed Knowledge model.

[–] goneharolding 20 points (+20|-0)

Yeah, and I think this is the keystone of the whole problem. They’re trying to take the whole world back with them!

[–] AugusiJade 30 points (+30|-0)

I've seen it referred to as the "age of unenlightenment". Flat earthers, anti-vaxx, a complete hatred of biology, and so on - society is regressing drastically.

[–] ProxyMusic 20 points (+36|-16)

I agree with your overall assessment, but I also think that the fact that the Democratic party establishment and the mainstream media anointed Hillary Clinton the presumptive nominee long before the primaries, and did everything to thwart & undermine any opposition to her candidacy even from women on the left, was itself a manifestation of groupthink being forced on the populace by the ruling elites.

The misogynistic pillorying of HRC by the Bernie bros was unforgivable, but she was a terrible choice as a candidate for many reasons. And the way the Dem party & MSM told the public that her candidacy was inevitable, a fait accompli that the populace had no say over and couldn't stop so why bother to try, was wrong too.

Also, a lot of lifelong feminists of the second-wave variety like me objected to HRC's candidacy, just as we did to philandering & womanizing Bill's candidacy back in in 1991. And just as we objected to many of the things the Clintons did during their time in power - and afterwards too.

[–] VirginiaW 26 points (+38|-12)

I disagree with you completely about Hillary. She was a fantastic candidate, the best the Democrats have ever had. It’s amazing she won the popular vote with the misogyny from both the left and right. Putin put Trump into place but he was helped by everyone who said she just wasn’t a good enough candidate.

[–] BlackCirce terfy tuesday 29 points (+33|-4)

She was a fantastic candidate

HRC was one of the most qualified people to ever run for President of the United States in American history.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie 3 points (+13|-10) Edited

I actually don't like her at all.

Still voted for her, because... well, yeah.

I can't say exactly what it is. I've been asked and can't explain it in words. The best I can come up with is she just seems... inauthentic.

But we have many other great women ready to step up and take the torch, so I'm optimistic!

ETA- I agree with ProxyMusic- it was like the media was trying too hard to make her something she wasn't. Maybe if they just let her be herself. I dunno. I do feel the media did Hillary a disservice.

[–] anonwasawoman -1 points (+1|-2)

What was great about her? That she was so entitled to being the first female president that she colluded with the media to get Trump out front as a "pied piper candidate?" You can definitely argue that her persuading the media to push Trump gave him the massive air time (he recieved $1-3 billion of free air time because of that) that got him elected. She certainly helped get him to the top of the republican ticket and I blame her and her correct the record shit for Trump and the mainstreaming of social media manipulation.

[–] sensusquaeram 12 points (+14|-2)

told the public that her candidacy was inevitable, a fait accompli

Hard lesson there -- never, ever get ahead of the data. Thank you 24-hour news industry cycle.

[–] spacykate 1 points (+2|-1)

For what its worth I agree with you. I thought she was too conservative (like Bill). I didn't (and still don't) like neoliberalism. I mean Bernie didn't win the votes and I thought he acted gracelessly after it was apparent that he lost, but I never liked Hillary as a candidate.

I wonder how you feel about Bernie’s three hypocritical lakehouses and private jet trips with lobster sliders? Hillary Clinton was as progressive — if not more so — than Bernie Sanders (which is why they had a 97% congruent voting record). Certainly more than both Obama and Biden.

[–] sensusquaeram 9 points (+11|-2)

So much this. (Also love the username!)

[–] kalina 68 points (+68|-0)

I learned

  • women's rights, even the ones you'd think safe, are on incredibly shaky ground at all times
  • people can be dumber than you'd think physically possible

people can be dumber than you'd think physically possible

THIS! "Sex is a spectrum" !?!?!?!

"There's no way to tell men and women apart"???

"Some people are born in the opposite sex body" !?!?!?!

And that's coming out of the mouths of people in leadership and educational positions. That's not 4th graders on the playground. That's people with M.D. after their names.

[–] Tabitha_Tuesday 10 points (+10|-0)

"There's no point to having sex on birth certificates" ?!?!?!

Clown world.

[–] shveya 64 points (+64|-0)

I learned just how rapidly misogynist the world still is. I feel like I was so naive before.

[–] bye_kevin 57 points (+57|-0) Edited

Great post. I've learned something pretty scary, that the values we hold as a society aren't upheld because adults have applied critical thinking skills and understood why those values are the right ones. There is a very significant part of the population that merely performs and repeats the values they've been told good people have. There are people out there who simultaneously believe same sex attraction is something you're born with and to try and change that is homophobic but also that some women have a penis and some men have a vulva and that gay people should reevaluate their attraction towards opposite sex genitalia because of that. I said people "believe" those things but actually they don't truly believe any of it - they're just repeating mantras without even realizing they're contradictory. Our society and its values isn't nearly as resilient as I thought it was.

[–] tacocat 25 points (+25|-0)

I agree. I don't think it has much to do with intelligence, either. I have many smart friends who seem to believe everything TRAs parrot, and I just can't believe these people are actually dumb. I think most people just don't think about a lot of this stuff unless something really catches their attention. This might not happen, depending on how closely they're paying attention. I don't have children and I'm not currently working, so I've had lots of time to spend reading reddit. So when I found out about this mire of bullshit, I didn't have anything keeping me from digging deeper to uncover all the horrors we've collectively found. My friends all have kids and full time jobs, so when they hear the TRA talking points on every news outlet they trust, they will fall into line. It's so insidious, and I feel like I'm turning into a conspiracy theorist sometimes.

[–] vitunrotta 12 points (+12|-0)

It's actually people with above average intelligence who are more prone to cult-like thinking (which I strongly believe gender ideology is - a cult). Boggles the mind but, well.

[–] Calico 48 points (+48|-0) Edited
  • That consumerism is a helluva drug. Late stage capitalism is real, and we’re living it. People these days really think they can spend their way out of being unhappy with life. Every part of this generation’s group and self-identity has been labeled, commodified, and put into boxes that are easy to market towards. They get fed most of their opinions on serious subjects from easily absorbed bite-sized videos, 140 character tweets, and stupid memes. People don’t know how to think outside of these black and white boundaries anymore, and the result is rapidly increasing political extremism. Social media has done a lot to enable this.

  • That porn is irredeemably harmful, and this is still true even if every performer was a consenting adult with no trauma or poverty pushing them into it (which will never be the case in reality). It has pretty much claimed an entire generation by giving them permanent brain damage and normalizing all kinds of abuse and self-harm. Transgenderism wouldn’t be the sexual fetish-driven phenomenon it is today without internet porn constantly pushing the boundaries of what’s considered weird and fringe.

  • That the medical industry is profit driven above all else, and they have a strong motivation to manipulate people into taking the most expensive/invasive route for “treatment” regardless of actual benefits. They’ll even mutilate children when given the opportunity. Don’t assume that because someone is an expert that they are necessarily ethical and have your best interests in mind.

  • That society is not only NOT past outdated gender roles, we’re clinging onto them harder than we have in decades and forcing them onto children in a way that’s positively brutal. Transgenderism is what you get when you take the assumption that gender stereotypes are real to its logical extreme. Men put a fake progressive paint job on the outside of it all so women can stay compliant, but don’t have to feel like bad feminists for it. Because at the end of the day marketing wins (see my first bullet point).

  • That groupthink is real and propaganda to silence and dehumanize dissenting voices can be disturbingly effective. It’s easy to see how absurd it is from a distance, but the dark side of human psychology hasn’t changed much since the days of the inquisition, witch trials, or nazi Germany. The only cure is self-awareness and to ruthlessly apply critical thinking to everything. There can be no sacred cows when it comes to ideology.

  • That female separatism to at least some degree is necessary for women to be able to thrive. Sex-segregated spaces are mandatory. Men are not only dangerous, they vastly decrease our quality of life on even a mundane level. They are so astoundingly selfish and entitled even a deeply cynical person like myself finds it hard to believe sometimes. They really do believe that women exist to serve them and have no reason to exist otherwise. They really do believe that their opinions are objective facts and their own narrow perspective, no matter how delusional, is reality. And women have to fall in line because we have no right to personal autonomy.

[–] orchidea 45 points (+47|-2)

I learned that the political left is not much more evolved and enlightened than the right, when you have senior politicians saying that of course it is normal and okay to house a violent rapist in a women's prison because he has gender feelz.

Like others, it made me realize that society is not that much more evolved and enlightened than it was in the past, and that witch hunts, persecution and Orwellian scenarios can still very easily take hold.

Linked to this, I realized how much women especially benefit from a strong and fair democracy and institutions. Any movement that seeks revolution or dismantling of the system -- I am now even more skeptical of it, because it will always be women who suffer the most whenever we regress closer to a 'state of nature'. The bathroom issue, the sports issue, the prisons issue- all bring home how easily women's lives and freedom could be made a lot more limited and miserable, even in places we think are so developed and enlightened.

[–] AuntiePenguin 33 points (+33|-0)

I also feel like I took for granted the privileges we have. I am now thankful for the feminists in the past who fought for single sex spaces and equal rights. I know it's dumb of me, but I had never thought about how valuable our bathrooms are, how much impact single sex spaces have in women's safety, why we need women in positions of power and how deeply our biological sex affects our daily lives.

I'm ashamed to say that I let my guard down. I was raised in a religious household and attended a religious school. I always joked that that's what made me a feminist, and when I was young, I was engaged and vocal. As I got older, and as things seemed to start getting better, I let myself get soft. I assumed that even with changes in politicians, there'd be, at least, a baseline we could count on to keep things steady before the next big push for true equality.

I never imagined this horror show of a present we have now. It's a theocracy without being named as such.

Basically, I've learned that the fight is far from over and that I can't anything for granted and that I need to be vigilant. So I've dusted off my boots, and I'm readying for battle once again. I've learned that even though I didn't ask for this burden, it's partly mine to carry (alongside others, of course!). I owe this to past generations of women, and I do it in the service of future generations.

[–] Roseelesbian 30 points (+33|-3)

One of the main things I've noticed is that I find myself reading something and agreeing or disagreeing with it when in the past, I would've felt the opposite because I saw it from a different perspective.

Seeing two opposite point of views from being a TRA and then a radfem has really taught me that we should always try to see other people's point of view. It's easy to assume that they do understand what you are trying to say and are purposefully continuing to stand by their lies but they might really just be seeing things so drastically differently that they just can't understand you.

[–] ligaments 12 points (+13|-1)

I agree completely. To add on to what you've said:

I've learned that an important part of having mature, healthy friendships with others is being able to accept that you disagree on some things, and then still treating one another with respect, sensitivity, and love. Knowing when it is an appropriate time to confront someone about their beliefs or choices, and when that confrontation would be inappropriate or selfish & about one's own ego.

Another equally important thing I've learned is that an individual person bears responsibility for making themselves feel secure and validated in their own identity, whatever that may be. Expecting or demanding that one's friends or partners constantly validate and prop up one's sense of self leads to codependent, mutually unhealthy relationships.

I've learned some difficult, painful lessons about boundaries--the ways in which I was conditioned to allow others to violate mine, and also the ways in which I was conditioned to not respect others'.

[–] [Deleted] 25 points (+25|-0) Edited

("People" used here to mean "people in general"):

  • People hate women a lot more than I originally was aware; they desperately seem to need witches to hate no matter how "progressive" we claim to be as a society
  • People have never been interested in protecting children, just in using children as projection screens and experimental subjects for their own issues
  • People who don't find you immediately useful will make you useful by throwing you under the bus to get a leg up in the virtue signalling game
  • People are way less progressive than they seem, given how quickly an anti-female, anti-homosexual, anti-gender-nonconformist backlash movement has gained popularity
  • Voltaire was right ("Certainly anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices. If you do not use the intelligence with which God endowed your mind to resist believing impossibilities, you will not be able to use the sense of injustice which God planted in your heart to resist a command to do evil.")

Edit: punctuation

[–] Lorena_wood 25 points (+26|-1)

We should not censor someone just for having a "wrong" opinion. As long as they are able to discuss it respectfully, we should let them participate. If someone is censoring people who disagree with them, it means that the opposition may have good arguments that they don't want you to hear.

I know it can be difficult to do but I think this is important I wasn't a full blown libfem but I bought into their ideology before I peaked thinking that my misgivings were indicative of my own misogyny. Refusing to enter their bubble just amplifies the echo chamber and even just highlighting the flaws in their arguments can help peak those passively observing.

[–] Tyro 22 points (+22|-0)

I've learned a lot about human nature, power dynamics, child psychology, and what being a dick looks like.

I've also fine-tuned my usage of the pejorative dick, and degendered the word in my own brain: you don't have to have a dick to be a dick!

This has actually improved my personal life immeasurably.

Plus everything you said, of course.

you don't have to have a dick to be a dick!

The two do go hand in hand usually though. 😂

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