119

121 comments

[–] hmimperialtortie 111 points (+112|-1)

They say “come out” like their made-up BS has any legal or social ramifications. All that happens is people don’t want to know about their sex lives, or lack of. NOBODY IS INTERESTED.

[–] IrishTheFrenchie [OP] say_wut? 90 points (+90|-0)

Right? How many family members will cut off contact?

How many night will they sleep on the street after being kicked out?

How many punches or slaps will they take from a homophobic parent?

How many friends will they lose?

Will they have to avoid showing their SO affection in public for fear of being attacked?

How many wills will they be cut out of?

How many family businesses will they be removed from?

How will they ever have children in the future and will their kids friends make fun of them fir their same sex parents?

How many times will they be called a pervert? Or a pedo?

These people are absolutely UNBEARABLE. Being lesbian or gay is NOT a trendy new pair of shoes. These are the most uncaring, unsympathetic fuckwits I’ve ever come across.

[–] pennygadget 78 points (+79|-1)

Can you even imagine the "coming out" conversation:

-DemiSexual: "Hey Mom. I only want to fuck my husband!"

-Mom: "That's....nice"

-DemiSexual: "and that makes me a queer LGBTQAIIWTF!"

-Mom: "....are you having a stroke, sweetheart?"

[–] InvisibleWoman 44 points (+44|-0)

"Mom I'd only ever have a sexual extramarital affair if I had an emotional affair with that person first."

[–] mil-bil 22 points (+22|-0) Edited

EXACTLY. The rebranding of an aspect of emotional maturity as some sort of supposedly tiny aspect of supposedly-out-there-super-specialness drives me up the wall.

"Demisexual" = I understand that people entering sexual relationships are not just bodies rubbing against each other, but they also have inner lives! And I understand that relationships are, well, relational! But hey... Let me phrase this insight in narcissistic terms, so I can pretend that a large part of society are villains.

(EDITED because of typos.)

[–] hypatia tired of it all 68 points (+68|-0) Edited

How many family members will cut off contact?

After they find out that she only has sexual relationships with people of the opposite sex after a friendship or deep emotional connection is formed? Probably all of them! I wouldn't want MY children around that filth.

[–] Stealthygal 1 points (+1|-0)

Immediately reminded of Miss Edie in ... maybe it's Female Trouble? John Waters movie. Where she refuses to accept her hairdresser nephew's heterosexuality and is constantly trying to set him up with men. "I worry about you in that lifestyle. Marriage. Children. grimace"

[–] Jamiethiel2018 10 points (+10|-0)

Great minds! I almost posted on insta the same type of message. When you're parents repeatedly tell you you're a danger to the gene pool and you father suggests hanging as the solution, when you lose your entire 1)church, 2) school, 3)other friend circle again and again when you come out, when you go to clubs in a pack for your very safety and when you don't show the rainbow on your car so you aren't hassled by the police, then you've earned the right to ask that question. Christ this pisses me off. At the same time bog standard straight people are invading everything the LGB has, the younger generation's tolerance for us has plummeted. Have you noticed the slurs when someone experiences real transphobia? They are all gay or lesbian slurs. Joe public is an idiot and can't tell the difference, which makes me think that public as been dying for a reason to stomp on us again.

[–] notyourfetish 7 points (+7|-0)

hey are all gay or lesbian slurs. Joe public is an idiot and can't tell the difference, which makes me think that public as been dying for a reason to stomp on us again.

Exactly. I feel like I'm being dragged down with this idiocy by virtue of being GNC. People think GNC people are transgender now and act all weird around me. I'm so tired of this entire thing.

All of this because we won gay marriage? Why are people so irrational over something so completely harmless? Gay people as a group have harmed no one, yet we're continuously hated for existing as we are. There aren't even enough of us to be a real threat to anything.

[–] z6iiab 3 points (+3|-0)

hijackers, the whole lot of them. they are making honest social movements lose credibility since all this nonsense started and each time it gets faster.

[–] Boudicaea 83 points (+83|-0)

Wanting connection and having standards before you put out makes you asexual now? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

[–] pennygadget 48 points (+48|-0)

Wanting connection and having standards before you put out makes you asexual now? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Whats scary is lots of people in the leftie "sex positive" crowd push the notion that not wanting to fuck every human you meet (and being grossed out by kinks) makes you asexual. To them, there's no middle ground between totally asexual and a kinky nymphomaniac

[–] Penthesilea 23 points (+23|-0)

I think demisexual IS the middle ground.

[–] PlainSimpleTailor 17 points (+17|-0)

Yup, very depressing to see how the goalposts have been moved to include literal sexual abuse as "normal" sexuality, making everyone who doesn't enjoy it "abnormal".

[–] hmimperialtortie 21 points (+21|-0)

That’s the line that was being pushed on AVEN years ago. They were totally brainwashed by hookup culture and porn, and talked as if being “allosexual” (normal people, I think) meant wandering around in a near-permanent state of arousal and being down to fuck any random who crossed your path.

[–] TerfHerder 21 points (+21|-0) Edited

It was so confusing to me when people got mad at me for assuming asexuals had no sexual interest.

“We can be interested in people sexually, but we value the emotional connection more”

“…so you’re just well-adjusted individuals?”

“No we’re asexual!”

[–] pennygadget 10 points (+10|-0)

it was so confusing to me when people got mad at me for assuming asexuals had no sexual interest...

"But asexuality is a SPECTRUM!!"

LOL. That literally makes no sense. Its like saying, "I'm a lesbian. But I fuck men on Tuesdays because sometimes ya just crave a little dick. Lesbian is a SpEcTrUm y'all!!"

Tumblr needs to be nuked.

[–] Tnetennba 6 points (+6|-0)

What's so difficult about saying "I didn't get enough attention from my parents and am desperately searching for any kind of specialness"?

[+] [Deleted] 16 points (+17|-1)
[–] [Deleted] 10 points (+10|-0)

yup! this is why I thought I was asexual in high school. I actually think there’s something to be said for (mostly young girls) having a way to resist hookup culture that is forced on them, but obviously claiming like it’s an oppressed identity is absurd.

Load more (1 comment)
[–] Dionaea 23 points (+23|-0) Edited

Yeah, it went from asexual = having no desire to have sex with anyone ever to asexual = not wanting to have sex with everyone immediately and all the time. It's really sad but that's today's hypersexualised and pornified culture for you where you have to be into everything and if you aren't, something's wrong with you.

[–] Suffrajitsu 6 points (+6|-0)

That's what I thought. I once joined an asexual forum because after I reached adulthood, I realized that part of the reason I was so confused as a teen (and still as an adult) was that I honestly didn't get the difference between a close friend and a lover. I'd never experienced, not just sexual attraction, but any form of arousal whatsoever. It never bothered me; I figured that I just never left the cooties stage of life. When it eventually hit me how weird everyone thought I was, I did a Google search and found asexuality. I shrugged and thought, "Welp, that must be it."

It wasn't queer, and I never felt the need to tell anyone because it's not like the lack of sexual feelings is something radical. The only annoyance was that everyone around me thought it was my duty to marry and procreate. I joined a forum just to see how many people out there experienced the same thing, but it wasn't long before everyone seemed to decide this was a particularly radical/special/queer "orientation" (can you even call it that?) and tried as hard as possible to squeeze their own experiences into it.

I don't hang out on such forums anymore, as there's no real purpose to it. A lot of "asexuals" are kids who just haven't developed their sexuality yet, and wanting an emotional relationship before one based on hormones isn't an abnormal sexuality, it's called being a well-adjusted human being whose romantic relationships likely have a much greater chance of survival because it isn't based on sex.

If you're truly asexual, the best thing to do is go back to whatever makes you happy. We don't experience oppression (and, no, your parents pushing you for grandchildren isn't oppression), we just come across as kind of quirky. Keep an open mind and don't do anything that feels wrong to you. Stop chasing after labels that will make you feel special. I believe everyone is unique, but you don't need to start jumping on bandwagons to try and force the world to think you're unique.

[–] Stealthygal 3 points (+3|-0)

It's also awful because a person who genuinely has no desire for sex is going to feel pressure to have sex anyway, not to be "normal" now but because other asexuals have and celebrate sexual relationships.

Like homosexuals being asked to have straight sex because of identities.

[–] Cessatrix 1 points (+1|-0)

It is so weird, it's like society has made everything so sexual all the time that it's killing my interest in actual sex. And it all seems just... sleazy somehow? Not positive. It's like sexiness is something you wallow in rather than something you enjoy.

[–] [Deleted] 16 points (+16|-0)

From google: "are demisexuals asexual? Yes. As mentioned before, demisexual people might identify as asexual, graysexual, or allosexual. Sexuality and orientation are fluid. You might find your capacity for sexual attraction shifts over time."

If you're asexual, aka you don't want to have sex with anyboy, ever, how the hell are you also demisexual, and want intimacy before sex??

[–] mil-bil 8 points (+8|-0)

We need to stop looking for logic where there is none (note to self, above all, because your question makes perfect sense to me).

These "orientations" are not orientations at all; they're quests for an invented special status.

[–] pellucidar 9 points (+9|-0)

It's more insidious than that: being a woman makes you asexual now. Only men are actually sexual because they jump on anything that moves.

[–] proudcatlady 9 points (+9|-0)

This. Yes, straights want to be “cool” and join LGBTLMNOP, but this is also a huge marker of the damage done to our society by the current porn and hookup culture. Men are not identifying as demisexual. Women are made to feel broken or “not straight” for not wanting to cater to men’s sexual whims on command.

I remember toying with the idea of identifying as demisexual in college when I felt like a steaming pile of shit, literally invisible and rejected by someone I thought loved me because I wasn’t ready for a sexual relationship yet. I didn’t then and I know now how cringe it was to even consider it, but it wasn’t because I was trying to identify into not being straight. I already knew I was bi. It was a defense mechanism to stop feeling like I was a defective female.

[–] Shadoe 68 points (+68|-0) Edited

Ugh, how can a grown-ass adult post something like this on social media and not die of embarrassment.

Nobody gives a shit about what/who you find attractive. “Ugh… I only like to have sex with people I like, just thought you should know…” For god’s sake you are married and have a child. What if your child or your child’s asshole classmates read this when they are older?

How on earth is “I only like to have sex with people I like” part of the LGB-alphabet%+ That means you are just like most women. Most women don’t enjoy sexual relationships with strangers. 🙄

[–] Stealthygal 28 points (+28|-0)

Speaking as a person who only has sex with people I like, I have an opinion on this actor who seems attractive and who I am pretty sure I would like.

As a person who only has sex with people I like I felt oppressed while deodorant shopping because I saw some Lynx and I remembered its advertising that seems all about sex with people you might not like. Society is so cruel to my kind. That's why it's important for me to come out as a person who only has sex with people I like.

[–] Jade 2 points (+2|-0)

As a person who only has sex with people I like, I feel deeply oppressed when it’s girls night out and the ladies start talking about George Clooney and Channing Tatum and go “woooo!” “Woo-hoooo!” as they dangle their chadornnay glasses, and then start wooing at the male waiters too, so I came out as queer demisexual aromantic fluid and now they need to shut up and do a silent woo by waving their hands back and forth. I have a massive crush on Rupert Friend, though, but it’s specifically in the role of Peter Quinn, so I’m still demisexual.

[–] pennygadget 61 points (+61|-0)

Hey Ladies! I'm coming out with a confession and I hope you won't shun me for it! Here it goes.....

I....waited until I was in love and engaged before having sex! And I'm only sexually interested in my fiance (who is also the father of my child)! I really hope we can legally get married! I don't know if society is ready to handle a man and a woman waiting for a solid commitment before having sex!!

If the Ovarit mods ban me for my marginilized identity, I understand. 😢

[–] Penthesilea 59 points (+59|-0)

Omg, have you ever considered that you might also be victoriangender??

[–] Flaneuse 6 points (+6|-0)

Transvictoriangender - when you’re aroused by the thought of your ankles being female.

[–] morgan_rhosyn 27 points (+27|-0)

WOW. This is whorephobic, anti-poly swerf rhetoric. Do better 💅🏻✨

scrubs brain with bleach

[–] Shinyowl 11 points (+11|-0)

Clearly, you must be demi sexual,. Or fall somewhere in the LBGTQ+ spectrum.

I'm so glad you have discovered a place where you can feel accepted.

[–] Genevieve 47 points (+47|-0) Edited

The pedestal that people get put on for having these identities is ridiculous. They're all itching to "come out" as something in order to seem special. No one needs to know that shit. There's nothing "closeted" about this identity. You owe it to no one but your spouse.

This is what happens when you open the alphabet. Everyone wants to be special and belong to the trendy LGB community without being part of the community. Acceptance letters for everyone:

You get a gender identity! You get a gender identity! And YOU get a gender identity!

[–] Shinyowl 13 points (+13|-0)

So true! I bet she will receive accolades for being so stunning and brave and honest. What a load of bs.

[–] PeakyLen 40 points (+40|-0)

The framing of "I need to be in a loving relationship before I want sex with someone" as part of the asexual spectrum (honesty wtf?) is ridiculous.

Who exactly is setting up "I always want to shag everyone" as the standard in society? The straight queers? Incels?

Not to mention that I don't understand the need to publicise anything about your preferences - especially if in a long term committed relationship. I'm bi. I'm also married. I feel no desire or need to discuss/announce my bisexuality, because it means nothing unless I'm dating.

Everyone is so desperate to be seen as interesting and be talked about on social media. It's tragic.

[–] Sunrise_Plum 14 points (+14|-0)

So true. Bisexual and in commited relationship myself, it always baffles me when non single ppl come out as bi, or recently pansexual. Nobody cares and furthermore, what is your partner supposed to do with that information? Propose a threesome?

[–] Jade 7 points (+7|-0)

what is your partner supposed to do with that information? Propose a threesome?

Your partner and every single weirdo who overhears you, yep. That’s the protocol.

[–] [Deleted] 12 points (+12|-0) Edited

I'm bi and been in a relationship with a man for a very long time, I can assure you the number of times my sexuality was relevant in social events was closer to 0 than 10.

[–] astroterf 3 points (+3|-0)

Clearly, you missed a lot of opportunities to loudly self-identify as LGBTQWERTY+ in social settings for attention.

[–] Cessatrix 2 points (+2|-0)

Feels so strange after years of dealing with anti-gay shit from strangers and my family, most of it quite painful, to be married to a man and never have the fact that i'm bisexual ever come up, yet it feels icky to try and "use" it to score some kind of internet point so I just never talk about it.

[–] Stealthygal 0 points (+0|-0)

This post reads like someone entering the Karen years who feels a desperate need to be relevant, cool and not a Karen.

[–] WitchPlease 30 points (+31|-1)

"Demisexual" is a word they invented to give the impression that most people want to fuck anyone that moves. I know there's a lot of people out there who do, but I don't think they are a majority.

[–] sicktodeath 25 points (+25|-0)

The average woman has what 7 or so lifetime partners. We’re not out here banging anyone with a pulse.

[–] shewolfoffrance 24 points (+24|-0)

Reserving sexual intimacy for people you feel safe, cared for, and attracted to should not be a niche form of gender expression. It should be the norm.

[–] Archie 5 points (+5|-0)

I think it IS the norm, actually! And that's what the people pushing those terms to mark it as something exceptional want to change.

Load more (24 comments)