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22 comments

[–] mauvaisefoi 16 points (+16|-0) Edited

Tbh I kind of understand her. She's just trying to opt out of the requirement to look soft and pretty to be a woman. A misguided attempt, but still.

My parents used to tell me "don't chew, just swallow" because chewing would further work the jaw muscles and make my already super square face worse. It was like... what if I want to enjoy the texture of food and am not fond of indigestion? But under their roof, under their rules.

When I moved to a new city my neighbours thought I was a dude before they heard my voice and name. People would look at me and call me 'sir'. Then for a year I went around with a male name and a fake deep voice, lived as a guy, and god, sometimes I miss those simpler times. So laugh all you want, but I get this girl, the shame and self-hatred, and hope someday she'll accept herself.

Edit also since when was femme used as short for 'feminine' outside of lesbian discourse ?

[–] Chopu [OP] 8 points (+8|-0)

So laugh all you want, but I get this girl, the shame and self-hatred, and hope someday she'll accept herself.

There is nothing to laugh about here. It breaks my heart to see so many young girls believing that not fitting into increasingly narrow beauty standards literally means they are no longer a woman.

Also sorry to hear about all the idiotic remarks you got. I have a square jaw too and because it makes my face look unusually wide, I once had someone tell me that I needed to lose weight (although I was already super skinny). So, I don't feel surprised to hear about the things you faced too. I really appreciate you sharing your story <3

[–] a-witch-a-broad 1 points (+1|-0)

I'm a few decades away from having been a young girl, and I can recall that, at that stage of my life, I had also concluded I must not be a girl due to my inability to perform femininity.

[–] winterseconds 8 points (+8|-0)

Edit also since when was femme used as short for 'feminine' outside of lesbian discourse ?

it's been used like this by the woke crowd in years, especially when it comes to how they "present". it's always either "masc" or "femme" for them. :/

[–] boogerita 3 points (+3|-0)

"don't chew, just swallow"

I was (briefly) friends with a pageant girl and her parents used to tell her not to laugh or smile because she’d get wrinkles. I thought it was crazy back then, but now after becoming a mom, it is so heartbreaking that people crush their children like that. I’m so sorry you had to suffer their cruelty. What the fuck.

[–] PGTips4Lyfe 0 points (+2|-2)

Unironically if you smile more your face muscles stay strong so you age better.

Also for wrinkles - keeping your diet full of animal fats (natural collagen, caesin, cholesterol) keeps the skin firm af. I can attest to this as a former vegetarian.

[–] boogerita 0 points (+1|-1)

Yeah, it’s not even how it works. I just don’t know how people can make these outrageous demands with a straight face.

[–] winterghost 13 points (+13|-0)

this person has never seen keira knightley or helena boham carter in their life

[–] greenbeans 9 points (+9|-0)

Whenever I feel bad about my square jaw I think of those 2 plus Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Zoe Kravitz, Margot Robie...not that I look like any of them!

There are so many different face shapes and not being a round faced, big eyed anime girl doesn't make someone non-binary!

[–] winterghost 5 points (+5|-0)

woman = round face would mean that all those anime boys would actually be gasp also women???

[–] yangsun 5 points (+5|-0)

My first thought was keira knightly. She's so awesome, my first celebrity crush.

[–] lucrecia 8 points (+8|-0)

I hope she does actually look like a minecraft character irl; it'd make the world more interesting.

[–] yangsun 5 points (+5|-0)

I identify as a woman because I'm angular. I have angular hips, angular shoulders, angular jaw and nose and a heavy brow bone. I identify as a woman because I am one. Because women of all shapes exist and I'm not going to alienate other women who are angular and masculine like me.

[–] Luske 4 points (+4|-0)

I'm so sorry for her :( She has been so bombarded with streamlined beauty standards it has turned to self-hatred. I can really relate to this. For so long I saw myself as too masculine, felt I had too broad shoulders, too big of a forehead, too strong of a nose, and also felt I was too fat despite being average weight. But looking back now I can appreciate my body as it was. I just really hope she won't do anything drastic and that she will eventually see through the beauty standards that are being pushed on her.

[–] Rollo 2 points (+2|-0)

Sad..for a while a girl I thought I was born a boy or intersex and this was before the trans craze. I actually believed my parents covered up surgery to change my genitals.

I had arms with long, obvious dark brown hair, and wanted an explanation. I got bullied for not looking like the other girls. A boy told me I was actually born a boy, and his dad was a doctor who told him so. If I was a kid now I think I'd identify as nb to give myself justification for the exclusion and to feel better. Don't worry guys, don't need to bully me for being "mannish", im actually nb.

[–] Chopu [OP] 0 points (+0|-0)

Thank you so much for sharing your story <3. I am so sorry to hear about all the things you had to face. See this is why I feel so much empathy for the young nb and trans identified people. Most of the time, it is just confused kids trying to protect themselves from bullying.

[–] Researcher1536 1 points (+1|-0)

Woman here with high cheekbones and a very angular face a la high fashion models. I used to hate it as a tween and teen. As an adult, I love it. It's who I am. It makes me me.

[–] LOriginedumonde 0 points (+0|-0)

I feel for this woman and really hope that someone on that thread suggests botox for her jaw instead of hormones and surgery. I have a naturally defined jawline but when I wore Invisalign I would compulsively clench my jaw which cause my masseter muscles to become overworked and prominent which made me terribly insecure. I went and got botox injected in my jaw to paralyze the muscles and it fixed everything. I only had to get the injection once and that was over two years ago.