35

Just as everyone in this community has a 'Peak Trans' story, everyone also has a story on how they became a feminist. We want to hear them!

I kicked off a thread a few months ago, and it was wonderful and inspiring to hear so many stories of how you found your way to feminist ideas. A lot of you had to go through the process twice, moving from other forms of feminism towards radical feminism, which was interesting to read.

So please, tell us - how did you become a feminist? What changes has it made in your life, your perspectives, your activism?

Original thread is here.

Just as everyone in this community has a 'Peak Trans' story, everyone also has a story on how they became a feminist. We want to hear them! I kicked off a thread a few months ago, and it was wonderful and inspiring to hear so many stories of how you found your way to feminist ideas. A lot of you had to go through the process twice, moving from other forms of feminism towards radical feminism, which was interesting to read. So please, tell us - how did you become a feminist? What changes has it made in your life, your perspectives, your activism? Original thread is [here](https://www.ovarit.com/o/WomensLiberation/2493/how-did-you-become-a-feminist-tell-your-story).

25 comments

[–] [Deleted] 16 points (+16|-0)

I honestly don't think I ever had a choice. I was raised in the middle east in a culture of extreme misogyny and I knew it was wrong basically from the moment I could critically think. I was definitely the loud killjoy feminist in my school/family as early as 11 lmfao. I didn't discover radical feminism until 2017, but ever since I can remember I've been passionate about feminism and women's rights

[–] [Deleted] 9 points (+9|-0)

I wish I had a cool story but I’ve always been a feminist even as a teenager. Feminism just perfectly describes my life and beliefs.

I love being a woman, I loved female puberty, I love my female body, I love female sexuality, I love female only spaces, centering women in my life, exposing male violence and foolishness, lesbian culture, vagina/menstrual art, just everything about women sounds great to me. I can’t imagine anything better than being born a girl, growing into a woman and being surrounded by other women and the majesty of women’s contributions to human culture all the time.

I don’t remember becoming a feminist. The idea of being a woman and not a feminist doesn’t even make sense to me, like being a fish who is not pro-water, what would that even look like?

To me the reading of theory comes second. I didn’t read The Vagina Monologues or SCUM Manifesto and then became a feminist. I read those things because I was already a feminist, a woman-identified-woman, as they used to call it in days of yore.

I was born to be a radical feminist and I will die one.✌🏽

[–] moody_ape 4 points (+4|-0)

hey, your story is fucking awesome! don't you dare say otherwise!

[–] Pendleton 8 points (+8|-0)

Another commenter put it well in terms of what I felt growing up too...aware of the sexism directed at women/girls from a young age; wasnt able/didnt want to conform to feminine standards. I have a larger bust and hips and a small waist and I hated my body for a long time because of the unwanted attention I got, until I realized there was nothing wrong with me and everything wrong with men. I just wanted to exist and be left alone lol.

I didnt really have any involvement with feminism until I started using reddit and saw that "feminism" was basically anything that got mens dicks hard, so I wanted nothing to do with it. I remember getting a feeling of "wrongness" in my gut when I read stuff like porn/makeup/prostitution was empowering and feminist, and I was like no it most certainly is not, but as someone who was generally against SJW stuff I kind of just lumped it in with weird internet culture and ignored it.

It wasn't until I started hearing about nonbinary stuff that I started poking my head down the rabbit hole more. I specifically remember reading about trans stuff on reddit constantly and looked at their subs to try and understand them better...hoo boy was that a mistake. They were clearly off and alot of them were fetishists, though I didnt know what AGP was at the time. The thing that really got me was they were calling people 'truscum' (old school transsexuals, or people who actually have a diagnosed mental illness) and saying shit like 'you dont need dysphoria to be trans!11! uwu'.

Oh and nonbinary people "werent male or female"...if your idea of male or female is regressive gender stereotypes. The nonbinary stuff is what I took the most offense to because of how blatantly sexist it was, and it disturbed me how many people seemingly agreed and went along with it. What happened to gender is a social construct?

Down the line I ended up finding r/gc and found myself agreeing with the majority of the views there. I was glad it wasnt just me who felt that way about choice feminism and the trans stuff. And it actually made sense, unlike the weird flowery 'feminism' and strange logical contortions that gender trenders and enbies espoused.

Now I'm here :) I try and post about my personal experiences because maybe theres someone like me reading them.

[–] [Deleted] 9 points (+9|-0)

I just wanted to exist and be left alone lol.

that resonates with me

[–] [Deleted] 5 points (+5|-0) Edited

It sounds weird but when I saw how gleeful "liberal" men were to bash Melania Trump after her husband won the election, I knew they were just as misogynistic as conservative men. Things started to click over the years- their ardent defense of women's subjugation through Islam (they like it!), the normalization of woman beating and woque polygamy (don't kink shame!), and the idea that womanhood is a competition to be won.

My final straw was when a TiM and his friends (including a former mutual friend that straight up told them to attack me) flipped out on me because I said Chick-fil-A was not even close to being the most evil corporation as far as human rights are concerned. They can boycott them if they want but it won't make a difference, and painting everyone as a bigot who eats there isn't going to gain any allies. All sorts of misogynistic abuse was hurled my way for not participating in their self induced struggle season, as I unfriended the individual that literally told people "go for [ her ]". I completely snapped after that and have zero tolerance of men's bullshit anymore. I look VERY critically at men who claim they are feminists these days. They're usually the most misogynistic ones of all.

Edit: Also to add some male hypocrisy, my former friend flipped out when I DMed him privately and asked if he would like to tell the TiM that he didn't believe said TiM had gender dysphoria, or if I should do that publicly since both of them were so convinced that I was the bigot. Hoo boy he did NOT like that. 🤣 I blocked him shortly after, but a mutual friend told me he came up with a bullshit story about how I "threaten real life friendships with hate". Sure Jan. 🙄 Apparently they carried on calling me a bitch for the entire weekend. Pathetic.

[–] larkaraptor 5 points (+5|-0)

when I saw how gleeful "liberal" men were to bash Melania Trump after her husband won the election, I knew they were just as misogynistic as conservative men.

And how easily the liberals bought into the demonization of Hillary Clinton by conservatives; singling out women as "Karens" even when it's something that more men than women do, like refusing to wear a mask; using gendered insults like "cunt" as if their femaleness had something to do with how they're acting, etc. etc. etc.

It may not be as bad as among conservatives, but it's intense.

Hard to answer when I can't share any identifiable personal information without fear of losing my livelihood, but let's take a shot.

I experienced sexism from a very young age - nothing horrifying like some women do, thankfully, but I was constantly chafing at people's expectations of me as a girl. I had sensory and social issues that just made it impossible for me to live up to them, and for the life of me I couldn't understand why I should have to.

I was just me, you know?

But my takeaway was more not-like-other-girls than feminism. So much of the shit came women and other girls, I just assumed that most women were the way everyone expected me to be. Definitely, 1000% would have said I was nonbinary if I'd encountered the word.

So I was in this weird position of being hyper-aware of sexism, but wanting to avoid feminism because it was for girls, and I avoided things that were for girls like the plague! Even the ones that might otherwise have been appealing to me - I felt like I was constantly fighting to avoid being put into that category.

It didn't occur to me until much later, as I became an adult and was forced to make compromises, that other women might be in the same boat. Yes, even the ones who wore makeup.

But, like a lot of people here, it was the trans stuff that forced my hand.

It was one thing for me, personally, to be waffling about whether I wanted to group myself with other women. It was entirely different to see otherwise intelligent and caring people saying that women aren't allowed to form a group for any reason. And defending violent sexual threats against women who objected to that!

There's no amount of not-like-other-girls that can protect me from that level of endemic misogyny, so fuck it.

I'm in.

[–] [Deleted] 4 points (+4|-0)

I was a libfem for quite a while. I used Reddit and fell into the MRA bullshit and also an addiction to porn, which resulted in carrying around a lot of internalized misogyny. The time I spent as a TIF was miserable. A lot of what led to me IDing as trans (and then discovering radical feminism) was porn, because porn is fucking horrible and the most utterly misogynistic content that's for some reason still allowed in our society. Watching porn had made me internalize these messages about sex, mainly that sex for a woman was about being subordinated, and I wanted none of it. I have vivid memories of crying in the shower, just hating being born a woman. As much as I oppose transgenderism, gender dysphoria is a very painful thing. I saw a comment on r/pinkpillfeminism yesterday that I think sums it up: “I hate being a woman. It's so humiliating. I feel like a piece of meat with holes to fuck and sexualize every part of it for male pleasure. I hate my role in sex. I hate the things men desire to do to female bodies. So fucking humiliating, I hate how female body looks like so weak and soft, I hate the curves, I feel like a pig to fuck.” I spent a lot of that time very suicidal. I was hospitalized, put in a mental health ward with other people, and a large number of women. I heard about the experiences of rape and incest, suicide attempts and poverty, and it made me very angry how many women had been mistreated like this. When I returned, I was shocked to discover many of the women I knew had been to mental health wards as well, that they had been raped, that they had self-harmed or attempted suicide. I'd never known that there was this massive underbelly of female suffering in our society. I read somewhere that 9% of female high-schoolers (The survey was in NYC, I believe?) have attempted suicide and it made me really upset. That's 1/11... That's fucking abysmal. Porn also solidified my awareness of this. I had developed masochistic fantasies and whatnot. I watched very violent and degrading porn, mainly as a way of like... psychological self-harm? I hated myself, so I thought I deserved to suffer, and these masochistic fantasies were a way of making myself suffer. The porn made me very, very aware of what men think of women. One of the first porn videos I ever saw was an animated one, where the plot was that a woman is tied up in a basement and raped repeatedly by multiple men. There was one where the plot was sex robots that men were able to buy. There was one where the plot was that one girl at a high school was chosen to be a public sex slave for all of the boys and repeatedly gang-raped, in this case, by a couple hundred men. There was one where girls who dropped out of high school were turned into public sex slaves. There was one where the plot was that rape was legalized. There was one that was just men molesting women on a train. Women in porn are always depicted as enjoying being raped, enjoying being molested, enjoying being treated like a sexual object devoid of any human worth, enjoying being dehumanized and degraded. The fact that porn is consistently defended with "free speech" or whatever is pathetic. Pathetic. Free speech doesn't fucking apply to hate speech, and that's what porn is, really: hate speech against women. Then, at some point, I stumbled upon r/gendercritical, spinster.xyz, and later this site. I read Andrea Dworkin's "Pornography" and Gail Dines' "Pornland." And... well now I'm here, and I'm pretty happy.

[–] moody_ape 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

i grew up in a bronken family, witnessing my alcoholic father being violent to my mother. people blamed her and said he was sick and needed help. i never agreed with them. i knew i didn't want to get married to live the same hell. i always perceived boys and men as my enemies. they were threatening and dangerous and i should keep my distance. i had my first male friends at age 12-13. before that, i was hostile because i thought they were evil. well, can't say i was completely wrong hahaha

so, as an adult, i started reading more and more about feminism and realized that i agreed with most of the things in the movement. i found in feminism a voice, a way to articulate my thoughts and i finally understood everything. my father's violence, why my mother didn't leave him, why i i was expected to be feminine, etc. i kind of always have been a feminist, i just didn't know the political aspects of feminism. it was very eye opening and there was no way to go back. i'm very greatful to feminism for being a part of my life.

[–] IronicWolf 3 points (+3|-0)

As a teenager and in my early twenties I was actually an anti feminist: all those things that feminists said were happening to women didn’t match with my experience. I started the world of work and got involved with the disability staff group after my mum had some health issues and I started to see how difficult it was to navigate the world as a disabled person although I’d never noticed it before because it didn’t concern me. This led to me thinking more about sexism (and racism) and realising that it was real and that I could see it all around me. So I became a feminist.

[–] BluecatSarah 3 points (+3|-0) Edited

The only girl with three brothers, all four of us very close together in age, I remember a kind of "hang on a minute" moment when, consistently, my brothers would wolf down their first course before I did, and my mother would tell me to stop eating & get up from the table and serve them their second course.

[–] raddestfemale 3 points (+3|-0)

Well, it all started with the JK Rowling situation. While everyone was attacking her and calling her transphobic, I didn't see anything wrong with her statements. I'm the kind of person who doesn't go with the crowd and needs receipts for every accusation. So I just supported her in silence. A bit later I started reading this korean feminist book called 'Kim Ji-young, born 1982' (a great book btw) and researched about feminism in South Korea. I saw that the most popular kind of feminism they supported was radical feminism, so I looked it up and immediately knew that this was the feminism I wanted to be a part of. Fast forward to now, I regret nothing. Radical feminism gave me all the answers I needed, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Load more (11 comments)